i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize