I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
