officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
