im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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