i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
