so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
