Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
