so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
