you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
