allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
