Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
