She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's just like the Real World with babies
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
