I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
