im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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