so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
