Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
