No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
