So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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