im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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