So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
