with your own penis?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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