But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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