Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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