Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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