You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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