take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
