Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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