she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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