Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
