If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Randomize
