Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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