So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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