if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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