oh god the rape fog is back!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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