Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
