how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
