D3 body, D1 cock
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
