I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
