I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
