"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
