I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
