It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
