? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
