You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
