I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
