at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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