At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
