THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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