her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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