i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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