No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
