Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
