I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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