lets start a swedish sibling band together
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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