All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
