She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
