using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
