I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
