I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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