Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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