i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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