Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
