Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
