You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize