Me. At least after what I've been through.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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