Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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