So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
